a few days ago, i felt like giving up. i was on the brink of destruction. almost at the point of no return. that was before i had a good chat with my counsellor. his words opened my mind like a can of sardines opened by a can opener. he made me realise that i've put in so much effort for the past 5 months or so in recovering. no doubt the situation changed recently. but i have grown as a person and done too much to just throw it all away by doing something silly.
there's something deep within me that is missing. i don't know what it is yet. i desperately want to know what it is. but it seems the questions i have been asking myself were too vague. i need to be more specific. i think i want somebody to be there for me all the time. not all the time kinda all the time. like whenever i'm in need, he/she is just an sms away. people are taking super long to reply no thanks to their busy schedules. i want somebody to accompany me drink teh tarik. i dont like drinking alone. and while drinking, talk about life in general. someone with wisdom to share. like my late father. maybe i've been looking for someone to replace a certain somebody i let go of many many years ago. so far nobody has been able to replace that person in my heart. my dad came closest during his last days with me. now the void is resurfacing. who might u be? i wonder..
anyways i found a super duper beautiful song. bittersweet by apocalypto featuring ville of HIM and lauri of the rasmus. super beautiful. love the melody. been listening to it on loop for the past 2 hours. and the song lasts 4min 26sec. haha
there's something else i wanna blog about but just can't remember what it is. next time then.
"she is the one that i adore, creed of my silent suffocation"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment