oh no..

it's silently killing me inside as i try to suppress it with every breath i take. it wouldn't take much for everything to burst out.

i'm falling deeper and deeper into somewhere i shouldn't be. this could potentially be a trigger.

on a lighter note, a good friend said he wants to see me back on the courts and playing again. it gives me great encouragement when someone tells me something like that, when someone is surprised that i'm not playing. yes i was good. but being the impatient person that i am, i guess i want to get back to that level immediately. sometimes i feel like i could have done the job if i was selected but i know it would have been a big risk. hitting around just confirms that the decision was correct. i'm really totally out of shape.

just an update on the meds i'm on:
fluoxetine 40mg
lamotrigine 100mg
sulpiride 400mg

i have a feeling i'm getting the side effects from the newly prescribed lamotrigine. muscle aches and fatigue. it's hampering my recovery process. next appointment is next week.