cold turkey day 4

day 4 started off pretty much the same as day 3 but the urge to smoke was even more intense. i managed to hold on for half the day but alas the urge juz got the better of me n i bought a pack of rolling cigs n lighter from 7-11 at dover during my break between lectures and smoked one stick. while smoking, i thought to myself (smokers like to think while smoking):

having others supporting u in ur bid to quit smoking helps u remain focused on ur goal but u should not rely heavily on that support cos at the end of the day, it's ur own body that's at stake so it's ur own personal fight. rather, u should rely on ur own willpower, desire to quit smoking n strength of mind to pull u thru especially when others are not around to help. the mind is much stronger than the body. doing sports (physical trainings) taught me that. the feeling after completing a highly strenuous physical training is immensely satisfying and the way to complete it is to keep in mind that satisfying feeling while going thru with the training.

then my dear gf sent me an article about quitting smoking. in it was a quote:

"One cigarette doesn't make me a smoker - I am a Non-Smoker, who had ONE cigarette and I am not going to have another one!"

the article, especially the quote, inspired me a lot and psyched me back up to want to quit again n treat that stick that i had as a minor slip up. i threw away the pack at the next available opportunity after reading the article. so that one stick cost me $9.80. pretty expensive u might say? but i know i will save a lot more than the $9.80 in the long run when i successfully quit smoking for good.

another quote: "u are not a failure. u are a failure only if u stop trying." - by dearest gf

so that is what my 4 days of cold turkey has taught me so far. i guess the relying on myself part can also be used for my illness. i should rely on my own strength more than hoping for others to help me. but first, i must believe that i am no longer depressed. i do believe that. i do believe that when a stressful situation comes, i will not be sucked into another relapse but have the necessary skills to cope with the stressors.

final note: the mind is always stronger than the body. remember that.