trouble

troubled times ahead it seems. i might have some problems going on in the near future. struggling to keep going. struggling to find things to keep me going. might fall back to the depressed state. really hope i don't.

if you could. be here. with me. by my side. right now. i'll never let u go.

1 more year

sometimes i still do get negative thoughts like i can't go on, i can't do it but so far i've been able to push those thoughts away and insert positive ones. the doc said i've made good progress but it'll take about another year before he can start discussing to take me off meds. one more year of waking up at 8 every morning to pop pills. hopefully things go well from here.

got my first pay yesterday after completing the week's tuition. yay! i feel so much richer now. aniwae i think the kid has potential especially in maths. need to work harder for his english.

the only one

she's the only one. no matter what i do, haiz, there's nothing i can do. except sit back and watch as the lil gurl continues to grow up. she's not gonna go away and i can't run away. we'll always be tied. our paths going side by side, never connecting. even for a brief moment. i wish i could say it all. but it'll just be like last time. move apart, only to come closer again. closer, but not close enough.

gonna start reducing my ciggie count. shall start with 8. rationing is the way to go for now. slowly reduce daily intake.

quit?

isit time to quit smoking?been thinking about it lately. just thinking though. cos i'm now at 10 sticks a day. that's half a pack. having to buy another pack every 2 days is just..broking me. but i'm totally hooked now. it's also a way to pass time. haiz..

tuition starts on tuesday.

hockey

tmr gonna look around at hockey sticks. dunno whether to get sam's one or a new one. nevermind just go look around tmr. gonna play div2 hockey with src. that's if i'm accepted on friday. hope i am. looooong time never touch hockey stick already. lost my touches everything. fitness dont need to say la. need to get turf shoes also. hmm i think i wrote this already. nevermind just type again. nothing to do anyways. going supper later with the floorball peeps at sheares.

Saints 3 - 3 RP Salibandy

yeah we did it! we'll be playing in div1 next season! woohooo! and we almost won. maybe should've won. took the lead 3 times but all 3 times they came back to equalise. kept a clean sheet again =) okay so the season is finally over. done. finish.

now to hockey. think (if i can) i'll join src for div2. means i gotta get a hockey stick. n turf shoes. more shopping! they have training every friday. something to look forward to after the floorball season.

pre-match

harlo! feeling nice and confident before today's final league match vs rp salibandy. it's been said that if we played the way we did vs nemesis + take our chances, we can get a result today. i also feel confident that even if we do lose (hope not), we'll still be able to stay up in div1. which is i don't think ssb and ntu will draw (hope not). as for the league champion, i hope moosemen and innebandy draw then zarf can win. played vs all three teams and i've been most impressed with zarf, the way they play. well, we shall see what happens later in the day....